Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Where's Katie!?!?!?!

Dear readers,

Where is Katie!? I’m like, really worried. She hasn’t been on gchat for two days. I, and I’m sure a few others out there in the labyrinth, are in withdrawal. So, I need your help. Please let me know if you have any clues. I am offering a $5 reward for any tips that lead to Katie’s capture…I mean, recovery.

Is she…

taking care of a few loose ends?

inviting disaster, then dis-inviting it at the last minute?

taking over a small third world country?

de-worming orphans in an Amazon rainforest?


traveling to Chechnya to hunt terrorists?

uniting the Dakotas and convincing western Montana to start a new state that has nothing to do with Miley Cyrus?

looking for where the sidewalk ends?

war or peace?

writing that book that's been bouncing around in your head for a while, and she now has a head start?

teaching herself to juggle, then teaching herself not to juggle?

in Lindsay Lohan’s new music video?

off to put Renee Zellweger in her place?

attempting to stop the Apocalypse, but then liking the argument and jumping on a horse?

waiting for you in the back seat of your car?

visiting a mythical land she discovered in her wardrobe and 60 years have already past in day?

biding her time?

on the island of misfit toys?

figuring out that we’re all dead?

writing a better ending to lost?

buying a jacket to prepare for the winter of our discontent?

building a clubhouse, and having trouble deciding which letter to paint backwards?

just having a good cry?

waiting for you to make a critical mistake?

in Delaware?

Help us!

Thank you,

p.s. I accidentally erased some comments—please repost!


  1. Lusting for the blood of the proletariat?

  2. She had to take a leave of absence to fulfill her duties as Gamemaker for this year's Hunger Games.

  3. I hear she is sleeping more hours to try and speak to the Sandman.