A weekly roundup of all the news you missed because it didn't really matter.
Meow, meow. Two-faced Cat Wins Place In Record Book
He walks on a leash and loves riding in the car, she said while stroking the cat's silky coat. "Every day is kind of a blessing."
The technical term for the cat's condition is craniofacial duplication, or diprosopia, which can cause part or all of an individual's face to be duplicated. Such cats are called Janus, after the Roman god with two faces.
You really only need to see the picture for this:
|Photo courtesy of LA Times|
Teachers and Students Mark Banned Websites Awareness Day
New Canaan High School, in Connecticut, cut off all access to Facebook, YouTube and Twitter just for the day to show solidarity with schools without access.
“It’s not even lunchtime, and I’m already dying,” said Michael DeMattia, 17, a senior, who carries a laptop to school.
We did the exact same thing when I was in high school, except it was with actual food, and it was to show actual awareness. Totally the same thing. But speaking of starving...
Gruesome details recounted in case of ex-model who ate husband
“There were suitcases and plastic bags soaked with dark liquid from his body parts. In the fry cooker there sat Mr. Nelson’s hands and when we opened the refrigerator there was Mr. Nelson’s head with stab wounds,” Palowski recalls. “She had his entrails in his Corvette and she was trying to get an ex-boyfriend to yank out the dentures from the head so she could dump it in the Back Bay.”
|Fine young cannibals.|
Dale Carnegie and Emily Post for the Twitter Age
The following sentence, which appears on Page 80, is so inept that it may actually be an ancient curse and to read it more than three times aloud is to summon the cannibal undead: “Today’s biggest enemy of lasting influence is the sector of both personal and corporate musing that concerns itself with the art of creating impressions without consulting the science of need ascertainment.”
|I sense a theme.|
No Joke: Capitol Police Take Onion's Parody Seriously
Meanwhile, Sgt. Kimberly Schneider, the Capitol Police's information officer, issued a statement:
It has come to our attention that recent twitter feeds are reporting false information concerning current conditions at the U.S. Capitol. Conditions at the U.S. Capitol are currently normal. There is no credibility to these stories or the twitter feeds. The U.S. Capitol Police are currently investigating the reporting.The latest Onion tweet: "Three-course lunch from Charlie Palmer's Steakhouse delivered as per Rep. Boehner's demands #CongressHostage"
|Someone just smashed his Temple of Doom VHS.|
Scratching the Celebrity Itch
The umbrella term for these new subsets of super fans, who devotedly discuss their idols’ merits across the Internet, is “stans,” a nickname cribbed from the Eminem song “Stan” that appeared on the rapper’s “Marshall Mathers LP” from 2002.
“How serious you take it depends on how mentally stable you are,” said Tré, 25, the creator of Stan Wars and a graphic designer who lives in Washington, who uses one name, like many of the stars he covers. Tré calls his site “a comprehensive guide to worshiping people you don’t know, who live a lifestyle you can’t afford, supported by an industry you don’t understand.”
It is really, really important to read the lyrics to "Stan" so that you can understand just how ridiculous this whole thing is.
|You might say they're feeding off celebrity culture.|
Kanye West, Designer (Yawn)
At a dinner party in Azzedine Alaïa’s kitchen on Sunday, Mr. West complained rather bitterly to those assembled that he meant for those sausage-casing dresses, the sagging trousers and the swimming jackets dripping with sparkles and strips of fuzzy bits to fit the way that they did, though everyone else seemed to read them as a failure in tailoring. At the Céline show, he engaged Joe Zee, the creative director of Elle, in a lengthy dialogue, loud enough for everyone around them to hear, in which he noted, as one example, that he did not very much appreciate the criticism of his decision to show fur for summer.
“All I said was congratulations,” Mr. Zee said afterward. “I wasn’t even there.”
YO KANYE I THINK YOU ARE A CREATIVE GENIUS AND ALL BUT I DON'T THINK YOU LET YOUR SEAMSTRESSES FINISH.
|Is that fur he's wearing?|