Showing posts with label excerpts from real emails. Show all posts
Showing posts with label excerpts from real emails. Show all posts

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Awkward moments that kind of make you either want to cry or laughhysterically.

1. When your headphones aren't plugged in and the entire office hears you start playing Salt & Peppa's "Push It" on blast


2. When you take said iPhone to the Apple Service and the first song that comes up to play is Britney's Hit Me Baby. (Even better when the second is that ridiculous joke song, "I know my calculus, it says you + me = us" )

Not joking.

3. When you admit the more embarrassing additions to your iPod to an entire blogging community.


4. When you take the dogs out wearing a pair of fleece pants, glasses, and bed hair at 3am and the most beautiful man in the world watches you trip over their leashes.


5. When you try to use a q-tip and have your earbuds in (oh wait, that's another post)


6. When you fall off of a pyramid (hahaha, oh right another post :P)


7. When you think a guy is leaning in to kiss you because it may or may not have been a date, and then you lean in too and he doesn't. (Seriously, I'll stop now, I promise)


8. When you receive an email from one of your contractors, not in reference to your work, but with a "your boss said you were single, and so is one of my reps, and we thought you'd really hit it off... Can I give him your number?" and you realize that your office is trying to pimp you out. :P



9. While mobile app text typing this blog post on the metro, you nearly miss the metro doors closing and have to make a beeline to get off, mowing people down so as to not have to take the Greenline into ANACOSTIA.


10. When you get an urgent email FROM YOUR MOTHER with info about the Pfizer birth control recall and the subject line is not, "Does this affect you?" which would be embarrassing enough, but "Do you think you're pregnant??"


Doom.


Thursday, January 19, 2012

All Goya with a Touch of Picasso

RAG Week, Galway, Ireland
March 2004

I am in the middle of a bar hop during Ireland's Raise-A-Grand Week, in which all the pubs open early and close late.  (Also, something about charity.)  I am the caboose in the Lady Train that is winding/pushing its way through the crowded pub, when I am stopped by a young man on a bar stool.  "Excuse me," he says.  "I just wanted to stop you and tell you that you're lovely-"  I made motions to continue moving towards the back of the pub where my friends gathered.  "No!  Wait.  I didn't want to come out here tonight, I just broke up with my girlfriend, but my lads made me, and I'm so glad they did,   because you're lovely, and-" he pauses and gestures me closer for effect, "- I would tell a girl that I loved her to get in her pants, but I wouldn't tell her she was lovely."



 507 Main, Belmar, NJ
August 2005
It's the summer, it's last call, and I'm out in Belmar, which means I'm looking around for my friends while avoiding eye contact with anybody else.  A young man saunters up to me.

"Excuse me, but you have a boyfriend, don't you?"

I size him up.  "Yes," I lie.

"I could tell.  But I have to tell you....[pauses for effect]....I'm better than your boyfriend."

"Oh?" I said.

"Yeah....I work at Z100."

I immediately perked up.  "Are you Greg T the Frat Boy?!"  (Sorry for the geographic-centered humor there but I assure you that was a hoot for those who ever listened to Z100 in the morning in the late 1990s.)


Monday, December 5, 2011

So you think I have....oh. Oh.

From: XXXX, Victoria
To: XXXX, Katie
Subject: Wide calf boots

I want wide calf boots for xmas, but have been on the hunt and seems impossible.  i am hesitant to order online for the hassle of returning when they most likely won't fit.  Have you found any?  I'm also slightly giggly about the fact that they call it "wide shaft" boot. Ha ha ha.

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From: XXXX, Katie
To: XXXX, Victoria
Subject: Re: Wide calf boots

Was this suposed to be for me?

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From: XXXX, Victoria
To: XXXX, Katie
Subject: Re: Wide calf boots

yeah!  We both have soccer girl calves.  Have you found any good boots?