Wednesday, November 2, 2011

In Which I Live-Blog the Greatest Show (Currently) on Television

Okay, first off, Spoilers EVERYWHERE.  Second, the font and spacing aren't consistent and I apologize, but it's late and I am done trying to figure it out.  Either way, I welcome speculative comments on the next episode in the comments.  And here we go!

9:58 PM
A commercial for REVENGE! just came on.  I got way too excited and fell off the couch looking for the remote so I could un-mute the television.  Game on.

10 PM
The show opens with Emily/Amanda quoting Hamlet.  "God has given you one face, and you give yourself another," she intones, as the camera pans to a shot of Victoria getting her makeup done.  Makeup as war paint.  I love it.

Incidentally, it's a line that Hamlet says to Ophelia.  Ophelia is my least-favorite Shakespearian character.  She's such a wuss.

Victoria and Conrad Greyson are being interviewed for the Style section as "the Hampton's most perfect couple."  The irony is thick.  Too thick...

10:02 PM
It is revealed that Lydia is out of critical condition but still comatose.  Nolan is encouraging Emily to drop the routine, drop Daniel and pursue Jack, who declared his love in the last episode.

I would never.  Daniel is too adorable for words.  Still hoping that the pilot was a fake out and that he's not really the dead guy at the end.

10:04 PM
Back to the reporter.  It is being made clear to the reporter that Daniel is the favored child.

Ewww Tyler is back, being swarmy.  He introduced himself to the reporter as "Daniel's Harvard friend."  Douche.

Tyler on the left, Daniel on the right.  I'd say that Tyler is the Rhoda, but he's not that cool. 

And he manages to listen in to Daniel and Emily's conversation in which she tells Daniel that she'd rather he not mention her to the reporter.  I can't wait for this guy to get REVENGED! in a few more episodes.

10:06 PM
Frank is in Emily's house!  God, everyone just wanders into her house.  She needs to lock it more securely.  He reveals that he's read her secret file from her troubled youth.  Still doesn't know her real name.

Cat:  frank makes me so tense.. in my tummy.. and my vagina...

Frank threatens to find out what else is behind her story.

As soon as he leaves she calls the Warden, who identifies her as "Amanda," and then Emily/Amanda tells her that she's afraid she's going to need her help....again.


10:12 PM
The reporter is asking Daniel about his new bartending gig and he called it "humbling."  Awful.  The reporter just figured out that Daniel is into a young lady and tries to get more information and he demurs.

Oooh and here's Tyler immediately dropping information about Emily.  Saw that one coming a mile away.

10:14 PM
Victoria's daughter asks Jack's brother Declan to her parents' anniversary dinner even though she was told not to bring a date.  Declan is the worst.  

Jack then dumps Nolan as a friend.  I don't get why people don't like Nolan, especially since he's been easing off the whole double-popped collar thing.  

10:15 PM
Oooh the reporter just showed up at Emily's doorstep and told her that Tyler told her that Emily is just dying to let the world know that Daniel Greyson is all hers.  Emily has a flash of ICE! face and then cordially invites the reporter in.  

Cat:  ugh i don't know who i want gone faster... tyler or declan

10:16 PM
Victoria is visiting Lydia in the hopsital.  Frank shows up.  Victoria calls for security.  There is palpable sexual tension.  Frank vows to redeem himself to Victoria.  She looks distraught.

10:20 PM
Frank is visiting with the warden, who tells him that Emily's violent past is due to self-defense.  He says he'd like to check the records.  She tells him to get a court order, and then smiles and offers to show him the facilities, which were donated by Emily.

The paper is out!  It's turned into a story all about Daniel and Emily's true love.  Jack is distraught.  Well-played, Emily.  ICE.

Emily and Daniel bump into Tyler, and she reveals that Tyler was the one who sent the reporter to her house.  Daniel has tense words for Tyler.

Conversation between warden and Emily.  She says that Frank will probably be back and that Emily needs to be more careful.  She says to remember what she taught her.  

Victoria has been paying Lydia's hospital bills!  Oooh and we learn that Conrad was married when Victoria met him 25 years ago, and so Victoria oddly sympathizes and feels bad for Lydia.  He tells her that she's never loved another woman the way he loves her, and she comments softly to herself, "just my luck."

10:25 pM
Nolan's big bodyguard says that there are 7 points of entry at Emily's house and she needs to beef up security.  I WAS JUST SAYING THAT, BODYGUARD.  

Emily asks Nolan to come up with something to take Tyler down with the Greysons.  Nolan is psyched to have "his first solo takedown."  He is on it.

Jack and Emily comment sardonically on the increased business since the newspaper article.  Emily brings Jack an old mariner's compass to thank Jack for fixing the swing.  Jack says he is embarrassed about declaring his love for her.  She offers friendship.  He gives her A Look.  Here you go, Jack, this may clear things up for you: 

10:27 PM
Ashley and Tyler are holding hands walking down the street.  Gross.  

Oh, Nolan shows up and brings up that Tyler has had a restraining order against him by one Leslie Montgomery and invites him to come by his place around 7 pm.  Tyler says he won't be there.  Nolan tells him that he will show up, and declares himself to be a very impatient person.

Cat: OMG what was that voice nolan just used?!?!
it was new and i LOVED it

10:28 PM
Frank is breaking into files!  Frank is breaking into files!

He pulls out a photo of NOT EMILY that is labeled as Emily Thorne.  "Hello, Emily Thorne," he says.  aaaaaah!!! 

Okay, we're halfway through and more has happened in this show than has happened in the entire season of EVERY OTHER SHOW YOU WATCH.  

10:33 PM
Ha, Emily gives Victoria a beautiful framed reprint of their original wedding invitation.  Declan shows up in a messy blazer and gives her a bottle of rose.  Amazing.  Declan is inept.  You own a bar and all you can come up with is a bottle o' blush?  Really?

His hair so big because it's full of secrets.

Daniel offers Declan Tyler's seat.  Symbolism?

10:34 PM
Nolan noticed that all of Tyler's bills last summer were paid by one Leslie Montgomery.  

Leslie is a gay man!!

Nolan calls Tyler a hustler!  And Tyler admits that he is!! 

(Nolan also says that he considers himself a 3 on the Kinsey scale.  Amazing.)

Tyler says his family lost everything a few years ago and he was forced to worm his way into a job this way.   Tyler starts to hit on hi...



10:36 PM
Oh, Awkward.  Flash over to the Greyson's anniversary dinner, which for all the hoopla looks just like a normal family dinner.  Well, normal for them.  They're talking about the newspaper article about Emily and Daniel and Emily says that she couldn't bare to read it herself.  Declan takes that moment to pipe up and say, "That's funny, neither could my brother."  Die, Declan, die.

10:37 PM
We're at a strip club.  Frank is there.  The real Emily Thorne is dancing.  She's dressed as a sexy cop.  This is clearly Frank's thing.

10:38 PM
Ouch, Conrad just called The Stowaway (Jack's bar) a dive.  Seems rude.

And Declan just freaked on Emily and told her that she lead Jack on?  Out of nowhere?


10:39 PM
Frank has hired TheRealEmilyThorne as a stripper and he says he wants to talk about Amanda Clarke.  She's apparently assumed her identity.  I hope she doesn't cave!!

Cat: seriously, how many times have i said omg in this episode
when you're able to drink again we'll have to do a shot everytime we yell or i say omg at the tv

10:44 PM
Daniel is freaking out about Emily's relationship with Jack.  Oooh and Emily goes for the ultimate Hail Mary and tells him that she's falling in love with him.  He doesn't fall right for it, to his credit.  He goes for a walk.  


10:44 PM STILL
Victoria and Conrad are fighting.  He says that she's never looked at him the way she looked at David Clarke.  She tells him to get out.  "WITH PLEASURE," he replies.

10:45 PM
Declan is back at the bar declaring his hatred for rich people.  Jack says that you can't know how somebody feels about you until she tells you herself.  Betty Everett always told me that it was in his kiss, but what do I know.  Then Charlotte shows up and Declan promptly forgets his class warfare and they get all shmoopy. I wish this plot line didn't exist.  

Back at the strip club.  Frank is guessing that RealEmily was paid off to become Fake Amanda Clarke and she admits to it.  She asks where our Emily is and mentions that she's tried to find her at least a dozen times and hasn't been able to.  Frank shows her Emily's picture from the paper and claims to still be working for the Greysons.  TheRealEmily/FakeAmanda asks him to meet her in the parking lot in an hour.

10:47 PM
Mother-daughter moment on the balcony.  Daniel asks Victoria why she doesn't like Emily.  She says that she just doesn't want to see him get hurt, and falling for someone make you vulnerable.  Or something like that.  Enough sentimental moments.  I want more REVENGE!  

Flashback to Frank prepping Victoria to lie about David Clarke on the stand fifteen years ago.  

(Notice that they keep talking about protecting Daniel and never Charlotte.  Something is up with that.  I think Cat is right and Charlotte is secretly the daughter of Victoria and David Clarke.  Maybe season 2 will be Charlotte's turn for REVENGE! against her half-sister.)  

(I hope not.  Charlotte and Declan are both the pits----)


StripperEmily/Amanda just jumped Frank in the parking lot!!  She's killing him!!

Cat: pee frozen into ice cubes and pour them on him!
Katie: hahahaha
Cat: ...that might be the firefly talking

10:53 PM
Tyler shows up with one rose for Ashley, who scoffs at it and tells him that all she wants is to be on the scene and not behind it and that he has hurt her chances.    Her only priority is Ashley, she declares.  He confesses to her that his family is bankrupt.  Then he reveals a USB drive and says that he snuck into Conrad Greyson's office and made a copy of all of his files and that "this time next year he will be indispensible to the Greysons."  Ashley is impressed.  Interesting.  She has a dark side.

10:55 PM
Nolan says that he took a page from Emily and found out Tyler's dark past to use against him.  Then it shows him watching his previous coitus with Tyler on the couch. So, we know Nolan's into web cams.  This better be Nolan being all ICE and not him like, double-crossing Emily.  

10:56 PM
Daniel and Emily are having a moment on the porch swing.  He tells her that he's falling in love with her too.  They kiss.  

10:57 PM
Conrad is sitting at Lydia's bedside in the hospital.  She wakes up.  "Conrad," she whispers. That was fast.

10:57 PM
RealEmilyThorne/FakeAmandaClarke shows up at Emily's house!  They hug.  Our Emily looks like she knows something is wrong.  

She tells him that she "took care of Frank."  She gives Emily his cell phone.  

Flash to Frank's body in the grass.  

And that was REVENGE!  So much revealed in this episode!  But the plot is still further complicated by Frank's murder and this new, further twists in the Tyler story.  Will Tyler and Nolan be a thing?  Or is Nolan just playing him (as I suspect)?  And what exactly does Tyler have on the Greysons at this point?


  1. Duuuude this show (in addition to HIMYM) is the reason I weep daily that we don't have DVR.

  2. I was attempting to say "freeze your pee into ice cubes and then throw them at him- for ICY REVENGE!" god, I can't believe you couldn't understand that.

  3. Ummm, spoiler alert. The second half of the season is based on the trial of the person accused of killing Daniel. Sorry...