Never, under any circumstances, say, "I'll be right back."

Back before David and I were married, I had my own Netflix account.  I started using Netflix solely to watch this:

Is there anything I can say other than "The President rode his bike into a tree?"

Which for some reason led to this:

I killed Jenny Schecter.

Which then led to another member of the Showtime family:

Yeah, yeah, I know, it jumped the shark.

Which led eventually to the greatest revelation of my television career:

She saved the world a lot.

And pretty much everything in the entire Whedonverse. But that's a whole other story.

This story is also about me saving the world-- like Buffy-- by warning everyone else about a potential pitfall in their relationship or marriage.  Learn from my wisdom. 

And that wisdom is, Be careful when you let other people use your Netflix subscription.

Okay, so before I added David onto my Netflix subscription, Netflix learned my taste-- as it does--  and gave me recommendations based on the following categories:


Witty Movies With a Strong Female Lead
Dark Comedies with a Strong Female Lead
TV Dramedies with a Strong Female Lead
Children's Movies

David watches movies like this:

You've heard of Instant Oatmeal.  Now prepare yourself for Instant Justice.

Or this:

They made me watch this one three years ago and I'm still upset about it.

And who can forget this:

Completely disgusting, I know.  David would want me to clarify that he totally reads the articles.

Sooooo Netflix got confused.  It's a machine and it's not very smart, and for all it knew, my taste went really screwy.  So then it did what any machine would do: it took all the information, scrambled it together, and started spitting out these categories that would now define "my" taste in entertainment:

Slasher and Serial Killer Horror Movies with a Strong Female Lead
Supernatural Horror Movies with a Strong Female Lead
Apparently Any Type of Japanese Horror Movie

Which lead to movies like this:

And this:

 I am not pleased.

UPDATE: David also really likes Wes Andersen and doesn't feel the above films are a fair representation of his taste in movies.  Well it isn't fair what you did to my Netflix queue, David, but hey, since I'm a good person, I will add one more:

Who is your daddy and what does he do?