Friday, September 9, 2011

Never, under any circumstances, say, "I'll be right back."

Back before David and I were married, I had my own Netflix account.  I started using Netflix solely to watch this:

Is there anything I can say other than "The President rode his bike into a tree?"

Which for some reason led to this:

I killed Jenny Schecter.

Which then led to another member of the Showtime family:

Yeah, yeah, I know, it jumped the shark.

Which led eventually to the greatest revelation of my television career:

She saved the world a lot.

And pretty much everything in the entire Whedonverse. But that's a whole other story.

This story is also about me saving the world-- like Buffy-- by warning everyone else about a potential pitfall in their relationship or marriage.  Learn from my wisdom. 

And that wisdom is, Be careful when you let other people use your Netflix subscription.

Okay, so before I added David onto my Netflix subscription, Netflix learned my taste-- as it does--  and gave me recommendations based on the following categories:

Witty Movies With a Strong Female Lead
Dark Comedies with a Strong Female Lead
TV Dramedies with a Strong Female Lead
Children's Movies

David watches movies like this:

You've heard of Instant Oatmeal.  Now prepare yourself for Instant Justice.
Or this:

They made me watch this one three years ago and I'm still upset about it.

And who can forget this:

Completely disgusting, I know.  David would want me to clarify that he totally reads the articles.

Sooooo Netflix got confused.  It's a machine and it's not very smart, and for all it knew, my taste went really screwy.  So then it did what any machine would do: it took all the information, scrambled it together, and started spitting out these categories that would now define "my" taste in entertainment:

Slasher and Serial Killer Horror Movies with a Strong Female Lead
Supernatural Horror Movies with a Strong Female Lead
Apparently Any Type of Japanese Horror Movie

Which lead to movies like this:

And this:

 I am not pleased.

UPDATE: David also really likes Wes Andersen and doesn't feel the above films are a fair representation of his taste in movies.  Well it isn't fair what you did to my Netflix queue, David, but hey, since I'm a good person, I will add one more:

Who is your daddy and what does he do?


  1. Instant Justice is as good or better than The West Wing. Aaron Sorkin said so once. In addition, Sarah Michelle Gellar was in The Grudge, same Executive Producer as Shutter. I think that suggestion was all your doing, Dave doesn't watch trash like that.

  2. But seriously... when do you talk about Neil Gaiman Fan Fiction.