You probably think this post is about you.

When I was in high school, I once claimed that my only requirement for a friend was that he/she be justifiably arrogant.  That was it.  And I meant it.  As a result, my rag-tag group of friends from that era are an absolutely amazing group of people, incredibly smart and talented and also completely ridiculous.

Play ball, motherfucker.

As I got older, that rule became a little more relaxed, and I started to branch out and look for other traits in my friends, such as "kindness" or "compassion."

Even kittens have their uses.

And that's not to say that my oldest friends are not kind or compassionate people.  I'm just saying they either define the terms differently, or choose to exhibit these traits in unconventional ways:


Ryan: I am so selfish
Ryan: that this morning my alarm was set for 7:32 and I woke up at 7:28 so I changed my alarm to 7:37 and literally thought "it's really nice to start the day with a random act of kindness"

James: i find the best way to decide a moral dilemma such as that is to say to oneself, " What can I do right now that will make the funniest story later?"

And it's not that they're not aware of this tendency.

Exhibit A, circa 2004:

Cat: i hope i don't get knocked up for awhile.. cause i'm really not in the mood to make new friends anytime soon

Cat: and obviously once i have kids.. i need new friends.. cause my friends now are not allowed anywhere near my children 

Exhibit B, circa 2005: 

Claire: that i kinda want the pictures of my friends to be a self portrait of myself you know

Claire: but like (and dont take offense to this)

Claire: but my friends here arent fucked up enough 

The point of all this is that  I'm going home this weekend and I'm really excited.  Rain, rain, go away, it's time for Locals' Summer.