The Famous Last Word: In Which I Read the News and Tell You the Good Parts

A weekly roundup of all the news that was somehow fit to print.

Anti-Roma Demonstrations Spread Across Bulgaria
Anti-Gypsy demonstrations that began during the weekend continued to spread across Bulgaria on Tuesday evening in response to the killing of a man by a minibus whose driver is linked to a man accused of being a Roma crime boss.

So much going on that I don't even know where to start. Let's try, "there's a Gypsy mafia??"

Look! Gypsy kings!

National Coffee Day: Celebrate with a Free Cup of Joe
In addition to getting a cup of java, we suggest you celebrate by remembering where coffee came from — a group of hopped-up goats.

Unfortunately, not the focus of the article.

A Hijacker, A Longtime Fujitive and Now, A Prisoner
Mr. Wright ended up in Detroit in a commune-like house on Manistique Street where it appeared the residents had practiced their own brand of religion. There was a mound of dirt in the living room, and in the center, a doll that had been stabbed with a knife.

Oddly enough, that's how I picture Eamonn's childhood bedroom.

Relax, it's ketchup.

Happiness Should Be a Top Government Priority, Expert Says
Someday in the not-too-distant future, the U.S. departments of Defense, Health and Human Services, Justice and Labor could be joined be a new executive branch entity: The Department of Happiness.

...in other news, the US Government STILL HAS NO MONEY

Help Wanted: Busybodies With Cameras
Known here [in Seoul] sarcastically as paparazzi, people like Mr. Im stalk their prey and capture them on film. But it is not celebrities, politicians or even hardened criminals they pursue. Rather, they roam cities secretly videotaping fellow citizens breaking the law, deliver the evidence to government officials and collect the rewards.

Not doing much for that Asian-with-a-camera stereotype, are they?

Not racist.

Old Guys Bare (almost) All in Framingham Church Calendar
“Participating in the calendar project has heightened my awareness of the marvel of my aging body,” said Holly Hollerorth, a retired minister, also known as Mr. June. “It has taken my spirit to places I wanted to go and brought me home again. The human body, especially the aging one, is indeed a marvel to be celebrated.”

No, they're not Catholic, and that joke you were about to make has been made approximately a quajillion times already.

Germany slams "stupid" US plans to boost EU rescue funds
Mr Schauble told Washington to mind its own businesss after President Barack Obama rebuked EU leaders for failing to recapitalise banks and allowing the debt crisis to escalate to the point where it is "scaring the world".

...later, Mr. Schauble declared that now that he is 69 and one-quarter years old, he can manage his own allowance, thank you.